Father’s Day is always a weird thing for me. My parents are still married, I still live at home with my father but if you asked if I was close with him it would be no. I would probably tell you we only say hi to each other in passing moments. I would tell you my parents are only still married because she claimed we needed a father. But I still never got a father or a dad. I recently read this book where it explained the difference between a father and a dad. I got stuck with a father. A dads someone who takes care of you and listens and does whatever with you and is just always there for you. A father is the person who helped bring you into this world, that’s what I got stuck with. I had a father who told me I was stupid and was never trying hard enough. Nothing was ever good enough for him. I had a father who would try and beat me as I’d have to fight back every time. I have a father who yelled and degraded my younger brother and turned him into this low self esteem ridden person who I always have to defend and look after because my father doesn’t get he made his kids depressed individuals with low self esteem. I have a father who couldn’t tell you one thing about me. It’s too late for him and I. But the one thing he did teach me is what I don’t want in a husband and father of my children. I want my future children to have the best dad ever. I wish I had a dad to thank for being there for me. But instead I have a father who just helped bring me into this world.
"Love yourself, accept yourself, forgive yourself and be good to youself."
"Her heart sank into her shoes as she realized at last how much she wanted him. No matter what his past was, no matter what he had done. Which was not to say that she would ever let him know, but only that he moved her chemically more than anyone she had ever met, that all other men seemed pale beside him."